DELHI DAYS 1!!!
8.25 A.M DURG RAILWAY STATION.
“Anki’s gonna miss the train”
“Call at her cell”.
“Its outta range”...
“Forget it ... she’s gonna do chaiyaa chiaiyaa and follow”
This time the train was not late but Anki was. Very late. Thanks to stars, Anki did not get a chance to repeat the ‘dil se’ stunt.
Remembering from ‘dil’- I think its time to tell –we were going to “dilwaalon ki dilli”!
Well, let’s get back to the train. After hours of long instructions of do’s and don’ts by my mum (like of never going anywhere alone) and we giggling them away (like promising to go even to loo together), we finally got settled in the train with Lathika ma’am and her daughter. Am I forgetting someone??? Oh yeah, The One clinging to the window-Mr. Anubhav Srivastav.
The window fascinated him right from the instant we boarded “Gondwana express”. Now we know he is fascinated by everything as long as it is Indian Railways...
It was Bryan Adams ‘summer of ‘69’’ a slight replacement – scorching summer of ‘05’ and even if you are extremely cool and Sauvé, you will feel the heat if you travel by economy class. Sweat, heat, hankies, oohs and aahs. All we could think of at that time was Anant bhaiyaa enjoying the AC of first class! And we were here –all Mohan Bhargavas, feeling the Indian ness within us. The divine Indian ness exhibited through the trip. Starting by our ma’am-
And our innocent ma’am replying courteously “ji- aage se dekh ke hi phekenge.” Ask her what she meant.
Now, let’s bluff!
And the bluff master of the era is – Mrs. Lathika rajan. Reason? She can have 10 kings in a pack of 52 cards. Casino Royale!
Then it was evening but who cares? Anubhav and I still went on counting any train’s bogies that crossed our train (he is still on that damn window). Never got the same answer though.
BOOM! Discovery of the special interjection to convey a pass off by your next person. And there was a ‘kya baat hai’ syndrome all over. (Which later became our would- be production company’s motto).
Enough talks, laughter and food. Time to spread your bed and snore.
Goodnight!
Crash!
“What happened?”
“It’s Parul falling.”
“Oh well, goodnight”
WHAM!
“What now?”
“It’s Anki this time.”
W-O-W.
Do you expect me to sleep after all this? So I started eating [inspired by nikhil] and realized “kya swaad hai zindagi mein”. Thanks to molten Cadbury in my bag.
It was not just I who did not sleep all night. We all four had been owl like through out. We knew that at stroke of
We started one more day on train with munching bheja fry and khayali pulao. Then Anubhav decided to go ‘Indian Idol’ way singing shastriya sangeet but we joined him with Junoon, Euphoria and Tanha Dil.
FINALLY we reached
“DILWALON KI DILLI”
‘Kahe ki dilli hai bhai Dil to hai hi nahi logon mein’ these jewels of wisdom dropped from me when I saw no paparazzi, flashlights and no garlands showering. All right, bad joke!
At last rummaging through milling crowd, we got a white ambassador (that was because we were looking for a limousine or at least a Chevrolet). Through the way we thought about Varun’s prophecy and shuddered at every not- so- good -looking nook and corner where speed slowed down.
When our driver ultimately stopped our only expression was “where is it?” However, in that narrow passage of south extension standing in front was a well-furnished hall. After going up in winding, twisting steps, there was the room no 201. Taking a deep breath we slid open the door and
next moment we were all jumping . I mean what else you need?
Three cool friends,
no adult,
a 24 hr cable
and
a nice cozy bed that feels heaven with A.C in hot April days!
“This is life, man”
After having zaikedaar lunch of aloo paranthas with a flood of butter, we let ourselves enjoy the dim lights of our room.
Dreams of
Thud!! Interruption!
Lathi’s voice snarled, “Get up, lazy legs! Its time to go for rehearsals.” Oh well, we should have known. After all those big palaces of film stars are not for them. It’s for their servants and pets because they live in their studios itself. Anyways, we got ready by
“Sure”.
Nevertheless, I did not know this would turn more than just a practice.
‘A skit requires dialogues, actors, acting, aerobics, choreography, ballet, physics, biology and trigonometry.’
Sounds ridiculous, right?
Well, it won’t if you saw Anubhav’s practice sessions. Anki went gaga over improving his ‘kharkhaniya chaal’. Moreover, a whiz kid like him could handle only physics and trigo ratios; at last, he made it through saying
‘With each raised step, your leg is perpendicular to floor’
‘Hands should follow
Pretty neat, is it?
After this Hindi outburst session, let’s get on to something wacko like translating the whole skit into English. How do you call it? Well, ma’am called it-“I am glad Thakre and Sudipta are not here”. No further comments please.
Just as we were thorough with our sessions, our coordinator, Meenal Singhal,informed that our limo would be late.so, we went for sight seeing .And after we reached lajpat, Anubhav vowed never to forgive us. After all, he came in the pretext of sight seeing but here we dint get ahead of shops seeing! Through out our maraudering, he kept imploring-
“Everything’s good .Let’s go back!”
“Excellent gift. Buy it.”
“Oh, everything looks good on you. Just take it and move along. For god sake, buy something!”
Poor chap, who listens?
After long persuading, we got him to buy one thing for him. A “goggles” and he has vowed to keep it on at night as well. But, finally we granted Anubhav’s wish and got back to restroom and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
BONK!
Arrival of our limo!
With ‘Bombay Rockers’ rocking and Anki dozing, we pursued our destination –-‘Laxmi Video Studio’.
And please don’t ask us what we did there. We just slept. Seriously, we had gone for rehearsals but all we did was to pull up our legs on the sofas and drift off to dreams. Common, everyone seemed so damn busy!
We too were busy when after loosing our way in the numerous very big and not very big (we cannot call them small in any way) rooms, we burst into green rooms (imagine their face) or drinking bottle of soda thinking them to be water (imagine my face).
And here, I will ask you a question. What happens when two opposing gender, stubborn, hot heads decide to take control of a situation?
Did you say a scene from Balaji Telefilms ? yeah, you have right, then. The fights Anki and Anubhav had, was one of its kind. People turned heads to see if it was shooting of Kutumb- part II . and me ,Prool, lathi were the babuji and ba.(no pun intended).
Our turn arrived, we entered the centrally cooled, magnificently managed, and pin drop silenced studio B to watch the actual shooting. Ours was due for next day, though. And after 15 minutes, we find ourselves gasping for air and rushing out to catch on some air.
No, not because of lack of oxygen but because of laughing. And I think you know that the more you try to suppress your hyena howls, the more you become breathless.
Thanks to the performing schools at that time, we carry some unforgettable laughter moments. Only 4 of us present there can understand what I mean. That small boy shouting ‘ma, main gir
Then, we were spotted by Vikas. A relatively short, endearingly cute, metro sexually studded and admiringly diplomat. Okay, so this was not any ordinary guy, he was our cool ‘guru’. I mean our instructor. Well, he was the reason our rehearsals were pending for such a long time. For any other man, I would have sworn to put chewing gum in his hair, but since he resembled Thakre sir (and he had little hair already), I changed my plans.
After a short and pep talk regarding ourselves, our ideals and our priorities , he left us in a room to proceed with other team’s run through. And guess what we did there? Yes you guessed it ! we were laughing and rolling on floors. You know its not our fault that their rehearsals were uncontrollable. The ‘kankhajura’, ‘Raviiiiiii’ ‘jalkumbhi’, we still smile at these stuffs. The rehearsals with us went smooth. May be too smooth that we did not realize it was well past
Here I must mention the plight of poor Anubhav, the only boy among us. He had to share room with Lathi and her daughter(till DPS, grasim arrived) but being a gentleman(at least, he tried his best), he let mum-daughter duo to share bed while he managed with sofa.
But he sure made a point the first thing in morning to wham at our doors with an demure expression ‘if I cant sleep , I wont let you either’. Pure evil.
Next day, relaxed morning. We had an sumptuous breakfast and like yesterday thought our limo would arrive at least 5 hours late.
How wrong we were!
It arrived sharp at
with ‘mehsopuria’ and ‘kaal dhamaal’, we headed for studio. Then, as soon as we entered the green room, we came to know what it takes to be glamorous. No, not talking about us. Its said intelligent learn from others’ experience. We learnt it from Amrita- our lady host for the show and of course Anki afterwards.
Ours(mine and Prool’s) makeup session was comparatively forgiving. Just kohl all around face(we were naala-naali, gee).
Talk about Anubhav!
Poor chap, jammed into a uncomfortable comfort chair, lights blinding his eyes and steady fast strokes by professional who was a no-nonsense uncle, but the pandemonium he created after seeing his image was something that would be remembered.
But Anki took the maximum time and she was looking worth it. She was the goddess river. So unlikely her ,she was dressed up feminine!
Then the final time came and we entered the magnifique studio B. yesterday, we were here, laughing at others’ mistakes. Now tables were turned. It is our chance(may be).
Stunned silence, following eyes(for our costumes) and startling lights. But hei! We kept our cool. Not because we were not nervous, we were more concerned about our make-up.
‘okay’, shally ji amplified in that already drop- dead silenced auditorium.
‘shot ready’
‘camera rolling’
‘audio check’
‘ACTION !’
everything was going on well when the ‘but’ word arrived. ‘There’, we thought, ‘a mistake, comments, laughs’
nothing happened that sort. “camera thik karo”, he shouted towards the mixing room. “okay, ACTION!”
smooth!
Just three takes and an okay shot. And we had expected to take hours. Yes, professionals, that we are.
The quuz, I mean the quiz , now that was real time taking. I and Anki knew then what it feels to be a participant. You see, Conducting the quiz was easier than sitting here. With adjusting microphones, wiping sweat, wiping hands, scribbling pens, surely, compeering was
Far more comforting than being comforted by comparers.
Those two anchors, phew, are actors like them?
Amrita – the lady was obviously paying more attention to what her lips looked like than what they said.
“ek baari phir..” and Vishaal , the male counterpart, pronounced ‘shhabakher’ as ‘shabba ke abba ki khair’ . jumbling up words was their favourite time pass. “ mercury battery se mil ke paani ban jaata hai’. Ever heard of that?!
For the quiz we were in quite a comfortable position. Because the audience voted us a whopping lead of 140 points. And when the quiz started, I don’t know what happened, may be we were still unnerved, we scored zero!
But yes, with each question there was a tie and as everyone later admitted “we realize today how important a third umpire to a game”.
Then in the second round too, we did not do anything. Don’t curse us, that was because we did not have to do anything. Thanks to the opponents who pressed the buzzer before time . Grin. So , where do we land at last? In front of the camera , repeating our happy and victorious emotions, all for camera’s different angles. It was not very tough because real emotions are
Well, whatever be, we had made it through the rolling camera!.
Cut it!
Shot okay!
Pack up!
* * * * * * *
Phew
Too late for shopping. Too early for sleeping, specially for a night hawk like me. So I decided to watch some TV while Anki and Prool retired. Just when Jenson button appeared after completing his 2nd lap , a voice behind me said’ koffee with karan dene se change kar dena’. Hei! They were not sleeping . then what?
Photography for will’s fashion week.
I as Hercules , Anki as pagdi paaji, and wearing a saree .. that was the best part. Then came ‘bourbon with karan’.
Smuggled in our cozy bed with blanket wrapped around and ac at 18° Celsius , bourbon in hands and long legs and sexy short skirt of Malaika Arora khan, I thought ‘this is life , man!’
Then, the last job- packing. All right, while in
Goodnight.
Lights off.
All quiet.
Then suddenly
Ha ! ha! Hee! Hee!
After all, its Parul , Chetna, Ankita on the same bed!(ahem). Common yaar , why wasting that one single night doing what we do every night by sleeping. Lets do talking and endless talking. There are so many important issues to discuss. Ranging from
Don’t know, when we found sleep. Next morning, I got up at
All I see is a man, brushing his teeth in the front building which is so close that I move away in case his toothpaste lick my face.
All I see is a deodar tree alone and limping. may be it appears so because I am on the fifth floor but then , there’s no fresh air .
Only faint petrol hanging in the air. Its not that I don’t like it, but right now there’s only one thing on my mind. This aint no life!
Look at my 5 day schedule. Getting up at
Hei! Enough rhetoric filmi dialogues.
Time to get back to originality. Truth is-
I am in love with
And come what may ...
I will go on loving it!!!
Whoa!
The last sentence brought us to our next stop....
Lets celebrate with a pizza!!! Not in McDonalds but at Pizzahut! so, palat meri jaan. That’s what we literally told our ma’am who decided to go for ‘Indian cuisine’ and proudly deviated from pizzahut. But, after a while , palat gayi
Then it was time that we waved our delightful
One- will we be this together again?
Two- who will carry this luggage?
Sitting in the train, we pondered over what all we had left behind- good memories, good times . good food and good looking hunks notwithstanding. and of course-those head gears(sorry, Thakre sir!)
Well, again Anubhav started in his voice trained to tune out a song for every occasion – ‘yaad ayenge ye pal’ and again we joined him but this time without rolling our eyes.
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